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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Nothing is more comical than seeing someone tiptoe with cheeks clenched hastily en route to a washroom to do #2.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
Ermegerd! I WON EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!!!!! Again! I love being self employed..
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
life is too short to match socks
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.