Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
You know what’s funny? Lot’s of sh!t. Loosen up already.
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
I have a drinking problem. When I tilt my head back to take a drink, I can’t see my computer screen.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.