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If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework
2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn`t want to go to the store...
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.