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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
The first order of business for the 115th Congress: blaming everything on the 114th Congress.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
lol I rotfl
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
Please just put it in the fridge.... We`ll throw it away next week.
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.