Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.