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Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.