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Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
DAMN! I`m so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
So what the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their house paint is peeling.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it`s not on Netflix.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.