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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
Just belted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
Will you go with me to my therapist tomorrow? He thinks I`m making you up.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Stop, drop, and roll isn`t just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?