Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.