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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".