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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar
I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.