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I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.
My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.