Daily Silly Status

Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?

I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.

Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!

Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.

When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."

Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.

Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.

So the state trooper said "I`ve been following you with my lights flashing for three miles. Why didn`t you pull over?" and I said "Well, a few years ago my wife ran away with a state trooper and I was worried that you were trying to return her."

If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.

I know u r but what am I ?

I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.

The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!

For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why

ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.