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I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.