Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
“Single and ready to mingle” is the fancy way of saying “Alone and desperate”
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.