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Just watched a woman in front of me walk face first into a telephone pole because she was too busy looking at her phone. I could’ve given her a heads up, but then I wouldn’t have been able to watch her walk face first into the telephone pole.
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?