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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.