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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, Iβm ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Hope I never go to jail, because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2003.
Iβm not here to judge, Iβm just pointing out all the mistakes youβre making.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
This beer tastes like Iβm going to text you later.
I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costumeβ¦
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!