Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?