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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
Sex, do it for the kids.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.