Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
The guest of honour was a bit subdued. The Keyboardist was playing too softly for my liking. But it was a good turnout, lots of food and laughter. But break out into one choreographed `Thriller` dance routine and the crowd goes all apesh!t and tosses you out of the funeral home.
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!