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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Condoms prevent minivans.
The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly