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You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.