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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.