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Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
Don`t waste my timeline.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!