Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
What number SPF blocks people?
Being a man in biblical times must’ve been hard. You’re busy then your wife says, “Someone parted the Red Sea & you’re here watching sheep.”
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
I was standing in front of the mirror earlier, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.