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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
If I had a nickel for everytime I told myself I`d quit smoking, I could buy a lot more cigarettes
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
I`m going to start tackling random guys in football jerseys saying "look how he`s dressed. He was asking for it!"
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.