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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
In a thousand years, archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
It`s weird how after they couldn`t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King`s men were like "Let`s give the horses a shot at it"
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.