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If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
The problem with diets is pizza.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
When I tell stories about people I don’t like, I give them ridiculous voices.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
heyy lol
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.