Daily Silly Status

I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.

In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...

Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.

Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.

HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.

We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me

if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail

Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.

If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.

Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?

I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.

I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired

Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.

I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s

If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.