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I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
"How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.