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never be afraid to wipe twice
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
My pants are 75% off.
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words `active` or `sport` in it`s name
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.