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We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!