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It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
Married 24 years now. All I recall about my wedding day is something about death.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
My memory foam has amnesia
The wife has been missing a week now, police said to prepare for the worst, so I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.