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I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?