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The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
"Please don`t do this." - my voice mail greeting
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.