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I`ve done so much f*cked up sh!t while I was drunk that I have to drink to forget it all.
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
Sweating is for people who do stuff.