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The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel