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What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow