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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”