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Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
Not to get technical… but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
President Donald Trump will sign an executive order tomorrow to bring back Pluto as a planet. Make the universe GREAT again.