Daily Silly Status

If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.

I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.

"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed

Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.

They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T

Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.

All milk is breast milk.

I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.

Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol

I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.

I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.

Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.

I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"

Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.