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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
A night of insomnia is usually followed by a morning of browser history clearing
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
Last night I meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Thursday because this is bulls**t."
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
I feel bad for the photons that travel 93 million miles from the sun and then have to bounce off your stupid face.
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
I was really pissed at my girlfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered she`s imaginary. So I`m good.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...