Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time, so I showed her pictures of me before we met.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.