Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
I’m quite confident that the reason I’m single is because I didn’t forward that chain letter in 2003.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
ALERT: Missing Unicorn...if you find it, you`re probably high
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
I broke up with my girlfriend by e-mail. I don`t know what upset her most, the fact that I did it by email or the fact that I cc`d my new girlfriend who wanted proof.