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I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
If Crunch Berries aren`t considered fresh fruit I don`t think this diet is going to work out.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
You being crazy doesn`t bother me. It`s you being crazier than me...That makes me freakin` jealous.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
I`d like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.