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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.