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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
Iām simply on reserve for the one who deserves
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.