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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
"Why yes, I`d love to be a thousand pounds." β my brain when I see a box of donuts
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
If money canβt buy happiness explain pizza.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I donβt think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. Iβve been here for an hour and Iβm still fixing her sink.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!