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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
He won`t let me complain to the neighbors, so I renamed the WiFi to `SHUT YOUR DOG UP, D!CKS`
exercise........you mean extra fries
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
I say the things better left unsaid.
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.