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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
You know what is cheaper than therapy? ... Admitting you`re batshit crazy and running with it.
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool