Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Well today I turned 26, not because I wanted to, but only because Facebook limits how many times you can actually change your birth year !
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
Irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you don’t like talking to other people.
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.