Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.