Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
2 words, 1 finger.
Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn`t cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.