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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
pudding... thats always a funny word
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
I don`t know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
I can’t prove this, but I swear I used to be smarter, funnier, and less tired
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.