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I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
My car remote died. I had to insert my key into the lock like some kind of goddamn animal.
That moment when you realize the object of #WeightWatchers is NOT see who can score the most points...
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
If opportunity doesn`t knock, build a door.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.