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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
I don`t know why I think I could survive the Zombie Apocalypse, I cant even handle the puff of air at the eye doctor.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.