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How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
Me:"I had a dream about you." Girlfriend:"Awwwwww." Me:"Yeah, you died."
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
This post is just for you.
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Women`s logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.