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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!